Entry for August 9, 2007
Today my heart is breaking. I opened up my email this morning, after dealing with Eric Ryan throwing up all morning, to find a precious baby girl, Trinity Angel, passed away. Trinity also had HPE. Although she had been sick her passing was unexpected.
It is so hard for me when I hear of one of these angels passing. It is just way to close to home. It's like a slap in the face, a reminder of what is to come. My heart is breaking for her mom, Carrie, & her entire family. I look at my Boog-a-boo & cannot imagine life without him. I sometimes pray that if God is going to take him that he will just take me to. That way we can go together & never have to be apart.
Its just so scary. You just never know with HPE. It can be his next cold that takes him or his next siezure. And right now that Eric Ryan is still having issues with breathing, I just dont know. There seems to be a huge age gap between the kiddos with HPE that kae it to teen years & those of about 4-5. So what does that mean for us? Eric Ryan is 3yrs old! Does aht mean I only have 1-2more years with him?
Im sorry! Its just so hard when you hear of a passing. It effects all of us as if we really were related.
On another note, yesturday I dropped of Jazmin at the airport. She is now back in Texas with her mom. This summer went by so fast! We had some tough times when she was here. Every summer it seems like it is getting harder & harder for us to get along. I do not get along at all with her mom & I feel as if she is rubbing that off on Jazmin. But there is nothing I can do about that. That is something that I knew when I met & decided to share a life with Big Eric. All in all Jazmin is a really good girl. She helps out alot with Ryan & loves him to pieces.
Today, by the way, is Big Eric's birthday. I feel bad because we are broke right now & cant really afford to do anything. May money will jsut magically appear in my bank account! Hey, it could happen!
